Does your boyfriend know you cheated on him with my boyfriend, who is now my ex?
I’ve always had a bad temper. I usually blame it on my Irish heritage, but recently it’s been getting alot worse. I get mad at people for the smallest things, and I blow up. I know I need to work on it because you tell me all the time that its unattractive and you hate it and I’m a rager. Well I’m well aware that I need to work on it. I’ve been trying. Really trying. I put my phone down, walk away, and I’ve been doing the 10 second rule. What frustrates me to no end is the fact that I’m trying and its so unappreciated and unnoticed. Take today for example. We got in a heated debate, and I TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT. I calmly express my feelings, I EVEN SAID PLEASE. And you dont even notice. Its still wrong. Its still not good enough because I started yelling because you werent listeing to me. You start laughing and calling me immature and all this shit so OBVIOUSLY IM GOING TO START YELLING. What do you expect from me? OH YEAH YOU WANT ME TO NOT HAVE A TEMPER COLD TURKEY. Like i can just stop yelling automatically. I literally was calm all night but when I yell once I’m in trouble and I’m suddenly not trying and its just not good enough. I’m trying to control my temper youre just not listening to me!
This is all over the fact that you don’t want it to be on facebook that we’re in a relationship. How do you think that makes me feel? can you not understand that that makes me feel like youre embarresed of me and you dont want people knowing? because it does. weve been dating for a year and a half and you dont want it on facebook? you claim its because im gonna take it off and say im single like i always do. But i told you im not going to do that. I want it online. i want people to see our names next to eachother but i guess you dont. It just sucks because i feel like im being used. when youre lonely you call me, but if you dont wanna talk to me you can talk to someone else because your facebook says youre single. thats what i feel like. you say thats not what it is, and that you want to see us working together and stop fighting for more than two days, but it just doesnt feel like it. i guess you cant understand that this would make me hapopy and i would be more calm but youre not listening to me. i just look like i complete idiot because it just says im in a relationship. with myself. everyone probably thinks im the dumbest bitch and honestly theres nothing i can do about it. i guess if you dont want my name next to yours then you wont do it. I sent the request to you so its up to you to accept it or not.
While youre farting around with that, i guess ill try to work on myself. some more. How do I even work on this? should i google tips on being more calm and holding my temper in? actually ya i think ill try that. Maybe that will help! haha
What is even going on? Who is this girl and why is she calling you boo? Boo is your favorite pet name and that’s why I always call you that… Who is this girl? :( I’m upset. :’( I just want to cry myself to sleep and never wake up. Why do all these girls have to flirt with you? Why do you have to be cute? Why can’t you just love me, and be faithful and only talk to me? I can only take so much and this is about crossing the line. I just want to be in college to get away from everything and all the people who break me down. Fuck all of you. If you wanna cheat on me that’s fine I guess. Have fun living with that.
Coming over with flowers doesn’t make it better. It doesn’t feel the same. Where are the butterflies?
Please just look me in the eyes and tell me it’s over.. Tell me this was the last time and it won’t happen again.. When is enough really enough.
He’s the boy I wanna be with. The boy I wanna try harder for. The boy I wanna be nicer to, and more caring about. The boy who makes my heart flutter. The boy who I want to grab my hand when I’m walking away. The boy who understand what I say, and what I feel. The only boy I want to grab my face with both hands and kiss my lips so gently to wake me before we have to get ready to go somewhere. The boy I want to go on dates with, lay with and tell my problems to. The boy I love. Please tell me you want to be all these things. That you’ll try harder and stop making me feel the way I do when we fight. That you want to stop fighting. That you only want to ever talk to me, and be with me. Make plans with me and call me to talk. Please tell me that, it would make me so happy.
